what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I have post one night stand depression
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