Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I wish life had little blips of pornography
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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