Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
