you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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