well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
