you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
