Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Randomize
