He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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