Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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