Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Randomize
