Well apparently he's into motor boating.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize
