They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I'm determined to sit on that face.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
