Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
