We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
