My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Edward fifth and chaser hands
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize