LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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