Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
