we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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