if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
