All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize