i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I need to align my fucking chakras
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
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