well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize