whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
