If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
