I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
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