grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize
