I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
My ass is underappreciated
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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