then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
