I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
