Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
