Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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