'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
