I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Operation Purity has been aborted
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
