okay pat passed out under dana's car
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
