U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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