Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
