watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
ttyl tear gas
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
