I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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