no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
