Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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