All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize