I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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