Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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