i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Randomize
