Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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