im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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