; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
