9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
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