Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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