I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Terrible idea I love it
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Randomize
