Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
