she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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