she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
