My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Randomize
