I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize