I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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