His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
