who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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