Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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