Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
