I heard we made out
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
