I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
