You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
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