dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
