Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
