You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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